The Tempest of Unknowing

The Tempest of Unknowing

Cael Irvyn is a Half-Elf cleric of Deneir I’ve been playing in a campaign for over a year now. Cael is a very emotionally confused character, and I think that shows in the kind of incoherent (…structure? Flow? I dunno, man.) of this piece.

He was raised by humans in the goody-two-shoes kingdom of Elturgard and never knew his Elven mother until his human dad decided to leave a note about her existing right before he died. Like pretty much every other half-elf in the history of D&D backstories (I assume), he never really quite fit in with the people who raised him.  

The Elemental Plane of Air, Present Day

It was difficult to see anything through the din of the storm. Cael could barely make out the serpentine shape of the Elder Tempest as it weaved its way through the squall. Even on a clear day, he wouldn’t have seen the pure elemental gale screaming toward him in time to raise his shield. The last thing he remembered was an eruption of thunder.

Continue reading “The Tempest of Unknowing”

Ministrations of the Wayward Mage

Ministrations of the Wayward Mage

I didn’t explicitly state it before, but if anyone gives a shit, Luke is a Wild Magic Sorcerer. Whenever he casts spells, there’s a chance for something random to happen. Maybe good, maybe bad, maybe neither!

As his Barovian adventure went on, he pursued some different paths. Mechanically, this was represented by multi-classing. This decision was much more driven by narrative, however. (Trust me, Sorcerer/Wizard is not by any stretch an ‘optimal’ choice.)

This scene took place after a wild magic surge-filled battle at a winery. Luke takes some time to reflect in the church of the Morninglord, at the edge of the small village of Vallaki.

Continue reading “Ministrations of the Wayward Mage”

It’s Probably Nothing

It’s Probably Nothing

I used to be a hypochondriac. I’d just be worried, all day, every day. Y’know like; I have a fever and my neck hurts? Bacterial meningitis. Headache for three days? Ruptured aneurysm. Chest hurt for a minute while I was running three miles? Incoming heart attack! Not a fun way to live.

I knew for sure that I had hypochondria because I looked up the symptoms for it on WebMD. Which – they had a whole professionally made site listing symptoms and stuff but really, they could’ve just had a white page with big, black letters that said “If you’re here, you are.”

Continue reading “It’s Probably Nothing”

Spare Change

Spare Change

The reality we perceive

is the reality we believe.”

I can’t remember who said it, or if anybody actually said it, really. It might’ve been written down somewhere, or carved into the side of a bathroom stall for all I know. Either way, it just sounded like some sort of new-agey, feel good bullshit to me. But not to Terry.

Oh hell no, not that idiot Terry. A couple of months ago he saw this fake-ass documentary pushing the religion of some cult out in Washington state under the guise of ‘quantum physics’ and he just ate that shit right up. When I told him this dumbass line about rearranging everything, he ate that shit right up, too.

Continue reading “Spare Change”